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White Sun - Love

Between the father and son, it is said that, “Feeding your son but not teaching him, you do not really love your son. Teaching your son but not strict enough, you are putting him in danger and bringing him harm. Be attentive to small things and be cautious with minor mistakes, there won’t be any loss in the end in loving your son. In seeking good-fortunes for the children by collecting gold for them, it is not certain that they can keep the wealth. In creating good-fortunes for the children by collecting virtues for them, boundless blessings will they receive.”In teaching how to live in peace and love, it is said, “There is no one who does not love his...

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Fatty Food Companies Go On Tough Public Relations Diet

Since 1975, obesity rates among U.S. children have more than doubled -- and more than tripled among kids aged 6 to 11. Lawmakers, consumer groups and class-action attorneys are increasingly laying the blame for this trend on the "deceptive" marketing campaigns of major food companies.Gradually -- too gradually for their own good -- food companies such as McDonald's and Kraft have recognized the obesity trend as a PR crisis that needs to be addressed head-on.Marketing food (or anything else) to children is a touchy subject. As parents know, many advertisers aggressively use the "nag factor" to push product. They want children to bug their parents until the parents break down ("OK, OK, I'll take you to McDonald's if you promise...

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Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent child and replaced them with a monster? Are you confused that somehow you have gone from knowing everything as a parent, to knowing absolutely nothing? Welcome to being a parent of a preteen/teenager. It is a brave new world. Being a preteen/teenager is difficult and being a parent of one is difficult as well. In this article, I will address just a few of the many “normal” aspects of adolescence and how to survive as a parent.I have been a therapist for over 18 years now and have seen hundreds of adolescents. If I had a dollar for every time a parent said to me, “If I talked the...

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Parental Involvement In Learning

Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other family members frequently read to children entering kindergarten, those children were at a distinct advantage over children whose families read to them less often. The Early Childhood Longitudinal Study found that "Children who were read to at least three times a week by a family member were almost twice as likely to score in the top 25 percent in reading than children who were read to less than three times a week." The study also found that, of children who were read to at least three times a week: * 76 percent had mastered the...

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Parenting Your Teenager: What Happens When Parents Think Apart

Where did we get the crazy idea that parents have to agree on each and every facet of parenting?Just stop and think about it a moment. Two people from different homes and backgrounds, are now supposed to come together and agree on every involved in something as complicated and complex as parenting.I just don't buy it.In my experience working with families for over 25 years now, parents do not have to think alike on everything. They do, however, have to do what I call think together.It's fairly easy to spot when parents are caught up in thinking apart.Signs of thinking apartEach parent believes that he or she has the right way to handle the children, and the spouse is just...

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Payoffs for Not Succeeding

Strange as it may sound, there are payoffs when we don't succeed. What you may exclaim?? Before you dismiss this statement read the following explanation on what payoffs you might be gaining from not succeeding.Ask yourself the following questions.1. What do I get to avoid?-Responsibility, love, success, visibility, etc.2. Who do I get to punish and/or love?-Parents didn't love me enough.-I will not be happy to punish mom and/or dad, who wants me to be happy.-Childhood was really awful--nobody cares anyway no matter what I do.-I won't let my parents say, "I guess we didn't do so badly after all." i.e. parents are assuaging their guilt by owning my success.-I will not do better than my parents because...

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Extra-Cute Baby Outfits

Parents live vicariously through their children and play dress-up. One of the joys of being the parent of an infant comes in the form of choosing cute outfits for the baby to wear. Over the years, parents have narrowed this down to an art, finding and choosing the most adorable outfits that they can imagine and making it seem that every day is Halloween for their infants and toddlers. While scary and grotesque outfits rarely show up on a baby even during the actual Halloween holiday, there are plenty of parents that like to dress their sons as baseball players and their daughters as princesses. It’s almost as if the parents start to relive a second childhood through their infants and...

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I'm a Mom, She's a Mom: Being an Adult with Your Parents

On one of her quarterly visits to see her grandson, my three-year-old son, my mother ignores the available front seat of the car, crowds into the back next to the car seat and promptly unwraps a lollipop. Feeling the tension rising, I recall the numerous conversations where I so proudly tell my mother how I keep sugar away from my son. “Mom, what are you doing? Haven’t you heard a word I said?” And so it starts. The struggle of being an adult with my parent.So much is written today about taking care of our parents as they age. Monitoring medical care, determining living arrangements and providing emotional support are the new roles that...

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Why Do Some Kids Win So Much and Other Kids Do Not Care About Winning?

Some people see superstars of young children at an early age. Is it superior genes? Some of the parents like to say it is, their genes of course. Yet is it superior bloodlines or just careful nurture or even pushing kids way too hard in their early years? And what is superior genes anyway, as a kid can win the Science Fair, perhaps get straight A’s or be a super star athlete. But what happens when a kid seems to be so good at everything they do?This subject recently came up when discussing royal bloodlines in an online think tank and over 1 million Americans have royal bloodlines and often these kids are fairly competitive in nature. Now then, without...

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